Peculiar People: Mormons and Same-Sex Orientation

By Ronald Schow, Ron Schow (Editor), Marybeth Raynes (Editor)

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“Peculiar People shows that we are slowly making progress. We are learning that while homosexuality is something we will not fully understand for a long time, if ever, homosexual people are our brothers and sisters, our sons and our daughters, loved of God and gradually of ourselves.”
…..Carolyn Lynn Pearson, author, Goodbye, I Love You
“Peculiar People may very well become the primer on homosexuality within the Mormon culture. I applaud the editors’ and authors’ courage and honesty in tackling this difficult and always controversial subject.”
…..Marty Beaudet, editor, Affinity.

The Other Side of the Closet: The coming-out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families

By Amity Pierce Buxton, Ph.D.

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In two million marriages, one spouse is gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Having a spouse or parent disclose his or her same-sex attraction is a shattering experience fraught with pain, confusion, anger, and a profound loss of self-esteem. Amity Pierce Buxton spotlights this exploding phenomenon and reports constructive coping strategies that spouses and children have used to resolve problems of sexual damage, family breakdown, deception, and homophobia. Illustrated throughout by riveting personal narratives, this expanded edition of The Other Side of the Closet traces the family’s journey from initial trauma to eventual transformation.

Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians and Gays Talk about Their Experiences

By Carolyn Welch Griffin, Marian J. Wirth, Marian J. Wirth (Joint Author)

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“Mom, Dad, I’m gay.” When a parent hears these words, the initial shock is often followed by feelings ranging from anger and denial to fear and guilt. It’s also the beginning of a difficult journey that, with understanding and emotional support, can lead to acceptance and beyond.
Beyond Acceptance is a ground-breaking book that provides parents the comfort and knowledge they need to accept their gay children and build stronger family relationships. Based on the experiences of other parents, this book lets them know they are not alone and helps them through the emotional stages leading to reconciliation with their children.

Now That You Know: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Their Gay and Lesbian Children

By Betty Fairchild, Nancy Hayward, Nancy Hayward (Joint Author)

Winner of the Gay Book Award.


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A challenging and enlightening guide for the 20 to 40 million parents in the United States who may be faced with the knowledge that a son or daughter is homosexual. Now That You Know has become a classic of information and support since its first publication in 1970. As The Advocate commented: “The authors take us from the first heavy moments of revelation through the guilt and recrimination, emerging on the other side of tolerance in love and joy.” Written by two mothers of gay children, the book discusses the nature of homosexuality and its effects on the lives of children, counseling parents how to respond supportively to gay children and how to keep families together in a bond of understanding and affection. For this new edition, Betty Fairchild has added a chapter discussing the complex issues that confront both gays and the parents of gays in the age of  AIDS.

Virtually Normal: An Argument About Homosexuality

By Andrew Sullivan

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This is not a book about how a person deals with his or her sexuality., It is a book about how we as a society deal with that small minority of us which is homosexual…an attempt to think through the arguments on all sides as carefully and honestly as possible; to take the unalterable experience of all of us, heterosexual and homosexual, and try to make some social and political sense of it.
…..From the Prologue

The Case for Same-Sex Marriage: From Sexual Liberty to Civilized Commitment

By William N. Eskridge

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No review has been written about this book. If you have read it and have anything to offer, please leave a reply below.

Conduct Unbecoming: Gays and Lesbians in the U.S. Military

By Randy Shilts
Conduct Unbecoming

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“The accounts of lawless, senseless and secret persecutions of lesbian and gay soldiers are chilling…Conduct Unbecoming is about what happened to individuals: about their being rousted out of bed, informed against, punished without trials, hounded, set up, brutalized to nervous and physical collapse and rewarded for loyal and able service with disgrace.”
…..Los Angeles Times Book Review

Is the Homosexual My Neighbor?: A Positive Christian Response

By Letha Dawson Scanzoni and Virginia Ramey Mollenkott
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When first published in 1978, Is The Homosexual My Neighbor? was the only book of its kind — a powerful wake-up call for Christians to reexamine their attitudes toward gay and lesbian people. This revised and expanded edition is now more relevant than ever, with updated information on such key, headline-grabbing topics as gays in the military, the AIDS crisis, and genetic research on homosexuality. Looking at homosexuality from scientific, psychological, and biblical perspectives, Is the Homosexual My Neighbor? is both informative and compassionate — the ideal resource for Christians on our culture’s hottest social debate.

TALKING IT OVER: Understanding Sexual Diversity

By kay Mehl Miller

Contact Author

From the preface: In the mid-1980’s I resigned my position as an intermediate school English teacher in a school in Hawaii to pursue my studies in psychology. As I told my principal that I had made the decision to resign, I said somewhat sadly, “I won’t be a teacher, anymore.” He looked at me, nodded his head, and replied, “Maybe. But, Kay, you will always be an educator.” The years since have borne out his prophecy.Through my writings about and activities within the gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered community, I have continued my role as an educator. My interest in this community began when my younger son came out to me as a gay man. I was brought face to face with the knowledge that those of diverse sexual orientation face blatant discrimination, careless, hurtful, and dangerous rejection, and, most insidious of all, the subtle wearing down of spirit brought on by non-acceptance of the reality of the person who exists as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, or transsexual.I knew that people of good will participated in such discrimination and rejection because, in most cases, they simply did not understand. It is my hope that, with this book, more people will be educated; more people will understand that having a sexual orientation other than heterosexual is natural, and that people who are non-heterosexual are whole human beings as good or bad as all of us are. In this book, my approach to understanding sexual diversity is to tell the personal narrative of the struggle to undo my own homophobia and to share the many columns I have written on a variety of issues important to understanding those who live with the consequences of being perceived as different.

What authority I have as formally educated, trained, and practiced in psychological theory and therapies is woven into both the narrative and the columns in a way that respects my reader’s own knowledge and experience. Remember, I write my columns for a community well aware of the issues I raise; the members of that community teach me what it must be like to walk in their shoes. Many of my columns speak to parents as well. I know a little about the mysteries of human sexuality, a little more about people’s attitudes toward sexuality–and the effects of these attitudes on themselves and others–and a lot about my own struggles to understand sexuality and human attitudes toward sexual ways of being. I also appreciate the reward of my own growth in making the attempts at understanding. My columns outline the scope of the problems and suggest the possibilities of solutions. I know that human beings are much more complex than the words I use to describe them.

No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons Around Our Gay Loved Ones

By Carol Lynn Pearson

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No More Goodbyes, deals with enlightening and inspirational stories of gay Mormons (and those of other faiths) coping with issues of family, religion, church, and occasionally suicide.

The Family Heart: A Memoir of When Our Son Came out

By Robb Forman Dew

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“Family happiness was a subject Robb Dew believed she understood in all its complexities – until one spring day when her son told her he was gay. In the Family Heart, she navigates deep emotional waters in order to accommodate this knowledge, turning her attention to her own husband and two sons and the events that began for them three years ago. It was a soft day in May, and her older son, Stephen, was home from his sophomore year at college when he told her, “I think I might be gay…No, that’s not what I mean. I mean I am gay.” This moment, so difficult to remember because it left them both moving into uncharted territory, began a process of evolution in the family — of love and enlightenment and deeper acceptance that has left no family member untouched.”
…..Kathryn Steffensen

A Place At The Table: The Gay Individual In American Society

By Bruce  Bawer

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“A passionate call for a peaceable kingdom in which homosexual people are permitted to be what they are — human beings of many parts, only one of which is their sexuality — rather than forced into the narrow stereotypes into which their friends and enemies alike seem bent on consigning them. Sane and compassionate…a book that needed to be written.”
The Rev. Barbara Cawthorne Crafton

My Own Country: A Doctor’s Story

By Abraham Verghese

Nominated for the National Book Critics Circle Award


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Nestled in the Smoky Mountains of eastern Tennessee, the town of Johnson City had always seemed exempt from the anxieties of modern American life. But on August 11, 1985, the local hospital treated its first AIDS patient, and, before long, a crisis that had once seemed an “urban problem” had arrived in the town to stay. Working in Johnson City was Abraham Verghese, a young Indian doctor specializing in infectious diseases. Dr. Verghese became by necessity the local AIDS expert, soon besieged by a shocking number of male and female patients whose stories came to occupy his mind, and even to take over his lifeOut of his experience comes a startling but ultimately uplifting portrait of the American heartland as it confronts — and surmounts — its deepest prejudices and fears.

Remembering  Brad: On the Loss of a Son to AIDS

By Wayne Schow, with journal entries by Brad Schow

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“Remembering Brad” caused me to recall my own struggle to reconcile my sexual orientation with my spirituality. More importantly, Schow relates the coming out process for parents, offering significant assistance for families trying to understand and accept.”
…..Duane Jennings, Director, Wasatch Chapter, Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons

A Separate Creation: The Search for the Biological Origins of Sexual Orientation

By Chandler Burr

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Chandler Burr’s A Separate Creation is the first comprehensive look at this revolutionary new science standing on the frontiers of current biological practice. It is the tale of committed scientists at the center of a firestorm from the radical right, from gay activists-even from their own colleagues. As they invent brilliant new methods to understand the workings of the human psyche, Burr charts this fascinating territory with clarity and an objective eye.But A Separate Creation also considers the awesome ramifications of their research, the ethical obligations and legal and political consequences that arise from the controversial discoveries. Compelling and enlightening, A Separate Creation is that rare book with the ability to change our beliefs and change our view of our essential nature.

Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality: Gay People in Western Europe from the Beginning of the Christian Era to the 14th Century

By John Eastburn Boswell

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John Boswell’s revolutionary study of the history of attitudes toward homosexuality in the Christian west challenges received opinion and our own preconceptions about the Church’s past relationship to its gay members, among whom were priests, and even bishops and canonized saints. The historical breadth of Boswell’s research (from the Greeks to Aquinas) and the variety of sources consulted (legal, literary, theological, artistic, and scientific) make this one of the most extensive treatments of any single aspect of Western social history. Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, the product of ten years of research and analysis of records in a dozen languages, opens up a new area of historical inquiry and helps elucidate the origins and operations of intolerance as a social force.

Is It A Choice?: Answer to 300 of the Most Frequently Asked Questions about Gay and Lesbian People

By Eric Marcus

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There is no such thing as a stupid question. In this honest, compassionate, and comprehensive resource, Eric Marcus answers a wide variety of questions relating to gays and lesbians, including: What should you do if you think your child is gay or lesbian? In gay and lesbian relationships, who plays the husband and who plays the wife? What does the Bible say about gay men and lesbians? How do gay and lesbian couples have sex? Have there always been gay and lesbian people?

When Husbands Come out of the Closet

By Jean S. Gochros

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No review has been written about this book. If you have read it and have anything to offer, please provide a reply below.

Trembling Before G-D: Powerful Documentary available for special discount from TLA Video

Affirmation/Family Fellowship is pleased to announce a special discounted offer from TLA Video on the Trembling Before G-d Deluxe 2-Disc DVD and video.The documentary film, Trembling Before G-D, has become a worldwide movement, and is truly changing people’s lives by shattering assumptions about faith, sexuality, and religious fundamentalism.The film features intimate, personal stories of gay and lesbian Orthodox and Hasidic Jews as they reconcile their passionate love for Judaism with the Biblical prohibitions against homosexuality. The Los Angeles Times writes, “Wonderful… While [director Sandi Simcha DuBowski] explores the plight of Orthodox Jews, both in America and abroad, what he discovers applies to gay Catholics, Mormons and members of other religions worldwide.” Newsday calls it “Loving… Healing…Eloquent…Moving,” TV Guide writes, “A brave, groundbreaking film,” and the New York Times calls it “Powerful… and unforgettable.”The film has won the following awards: GLAAD Media Award: Outstanding Documentary of 2003, Official Selection Sundance Film Festival, Teddy Award for Best Documentary at the Berlin Film Festival, and Grand Jury Prize for Best Documentary at OUTfest Los Angeles.The Deluxe 2-Disc DVD includes the film itself with three hours of additional Special Features including:
o Featurette – Trembling on the Road, a dramatic and inspiring document of dialogues, reactions, screenings, and protests over the past 2 ½ years from Israel, Baltimore, Utah, London, New York, Ohio, San Francisco, Mexico City, the first Orthodox synagogue screenings, a Mormon-Jewish Gay Dialogue at the Sundance Film Festival, interfaith screenings, and beyond and where-are-they-now updates on all those in the movie.
o More With Rabbi Steve Greenberg, the first openly gay Orthodox rabbi shares his inspiring life journey.
o Interview with the Director, Sandi Simcha DuBowski on the stories behind the story.
o More with the Rabbis, unprecedented interviews with religious leaders on homosexuality.
o Petach Lev/Opening of the Heart about the project’s groundbreaking work in religious high schools in Israel.
o Tomboychik, a 22 year-old gay grandson makes his first film with his 88 year-old grandmother. DuBowski’s first short.
o Mark: the Musical, if MTV were to do a Hasidic music video.
o Multi-language subtitling including Spanish, Hebrew, Yiddish and closed-captioning.

 The DVD is a great gift for friends and family or as a donation to a community’s library, church, resource center, or local school. We encourage parents and friends of gay and lesbian people to discuss the issues in their chapter raised by the film. We have a special PFLAG guideline for discussion available

Affirmation/Family Fellowship members receive a special 10% discount ordered at TLA Video through June 30, 2004 (not including taxes and shipping). Please visit: tlavideo and enter `Trembling’ as the sales code when checking out. 

For additional information, please visit:

Good-Bye, I Love You: A True Story of a Wife, Her Husband, and a Love That Transcended Tragedy

By Carol Lynn Pearson

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“Carol Lynn Pearson’s 1986 publication of her husband’s life and death in Good-bye I Love You is perhaps the single most important event in the history of homosexuality and Mormonism. Her account finally softened the hearts and opened the minds of so many Mormons that its significance cannot be underrated.”…Connell O’Donovan

The Hero’s Journey of the Gay and Lesbian Mormon

By Carol Lynn Pearson
The Heros Journey

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What if, after all, being gay is not a defect, not a lesser life, but a different calling?– an invitation to travel the road of heroes mapped out by mythologist Joseph Campbell and find the life-giving substance that cures all ills. The Hero’s Journey of the Gay and Lesbian Mormon is offered to LGBT people of all religions, and their families and friends, as a traveling companion that will ease the path and celebrate the various destinations.